Hello and welcome to my blog- the hub of all fun.
Earlier today at a local Subway, me, Duncan Christie and Ben Perry were just finishing up our food when a woman walked in, looking quite distressed. I noticed her sweaty face as she dashed to the toilet. Time went by for about 15 minutes or so when Duncan and Ben decided to leave. I needed to use the toilet so I said my goodbyes and waited for the dial to switch to 'Vacant'. It wasn't untill the dude behind the counter said to me, 'She's been in there too long' that it actually hit me how long she really had been. We thought it would be a good idea to go check it out so we approached the door. Literally as soon as we walked towards it we could his this painful groan, not far off birth contraptions I assume, as she wailed out '
eeuuuuurrrrrrr, eeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur, euuuuuuuuuuuuuur!!!!!!!!' I thought to myself
'What the fuck?' So being the concerned guy most people would be in that situation, I quietly knocked on the door and said 'Hello?' the woman just managed to say
"oh, hello!' back. When I asked if she was ok, I wasn't expecting the level of honesty in which she blessed myself and the assistant with, managing to state that
'It's just a spot of constapation!' Me-
'?????????', she calmly replied
'I said don't worry, I wont be long, I've got constapation.' I was baffled at this point as to why she felt the need to share it, but as the assistant was Spanish and yet to learn the word constaption I took it upon myself, by squatting and screwing my face to demonstrate to him what constapation was.
We left the woman to her own devices as I walked out pissing myself. Not literally ofcourse, though I did frustratingly still need the toilet, but I was laughing at her. Very, very funny times.